Separation Issues

Well, I must say that I am very sorry for not updating in a while. We have been on a very busy emotional roller coaster ride of waiting...

I need to tell you that this, so far, is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I think it is especially difficult for me as a mother. 

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing and I think God planned it perfectly. He created the woman's body to carry her babies with her, right in her stomach, close to her heart (although unfortunately slightly closer to the bladder).  Mothers never want to be separated from their children. especially as infants when they are in the most need of a mother's care. When I was pregnant with Landyn, I was excited and couldn't wait to meet him. I couldn't believe how much I loved this little person I had never even met.He and I still had a relationship, I mean I always talked to him and just had a great comfort that he was with me at all times.  

  Well, when it comes to adoption, Instead of this child being right here in my stomach, like a pregnancy, this baby is growing somewhere else. Now, this may seem to be pretty obvious statement, in fact it is very obvious to us, I mean come on, "No Listyn, your adopted child will not be grown from within your own body...duh".

I promise I am fully aware of that fact. But  what I didn't know was that there are feelings that go along with this separation. The fact that this child is growing in another woman's body is not the problem, the problem is that I find myself, not only unconditionally loving, but severely missing this little person that I don't even know because he/she is not with me. I never had to miss Landyn, has always been right here...but lately I have realized that I am in love with a person that is missing from me...

So, my job as a waiting adoptive parent, is to trust and pray that the Lord will lead the birth-mother (who is carrying this little person we are missing) and direct her to our family, 

where they will both be loved and accepted into our home.  

I have had many talks with God on this subject and bared my hurt to him and he has been so faithful. I have never wavered from the peace He has given us in our adoption decision, but everything else that comes with that decision shakes every part of my heart. I realize that I never knew the depth of peace Christ can give until now. Even though I wake up every morning missing someone, I have full confidence that Christ is leading that someone to us and that reminds me to call out to Him every day and send him his/her way to check up on baby and mommy wherever/whoever they are.  

So, I will be posting again and just keeping you in the loop now that we are very close, we could get a mommy and baby any day now.

Please keep praying for our family and for our future family.

Thank you.