Hello and Merry Christmas!!
I have an update for you! yay!!
Andrew and I are now finished with the homestudy officially and we are now in the waiting stage.
We have been shown a couple of profiles of mothers in need of a home for their baby, and we have said yes to one of them. It is now in her hands to say that she chooses us for her baby's family or not. We won't know anything, we are thinking, for at least a month or so, but we would just like to ask for your prayers that the Lord's will would be done, and that she would find peace through this very difficult decision she is making.We could never understand what a mother would have to go through in giving up her own child, and then have to watch him/her be raised by another family. We are so humbled to even be this far in our adoption and we are so thankful for God's grace and peace through it all.
"4" The word of the Lord came to me, saying,
5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew[a] you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
6 “Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”
7 But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.
(Jeremiah 1:4-7)
We have also agreed to an "open adoption" which means that we, and whatever child the Lord blesses us with, will have a relationship with the birthmother. I am fully aware that this sounds unorthodox, it is, when compared to the original "closed adoption" law created in 1917. The idea of an open adoption, in my opinion, wasn't really taken that seriously until 1983 when the book "Dear Birthmother" written by Kathleen Siber and Phylis Speedlin came out and described how some birthmothers had been writing letters to their adopted children and explaining why they gave them up and to say good bye. This book really opened people's eyes to the fact that the both mother and child need closure, love, and acceptance.
I am reading a book right now called "the open adoption experience" written by Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia. This book has opened my eyes to how new the idea of an open adoption is and how beneficial it is for all involved. Here is a quote from this book, just for a taste of what it says:
"Those who have followed the changes in the field of adoption recognize that open adoptions represent an evolution in adoption thought and practice. They are the result of a growing belief that:
-Children have a connection to their birthparents that begins even before birth and cannot be changed or denied by legal documents;
-Children need information about their origins to help them form a personal identity, and it is better for children to deal with reality--even harsh reality--than with a variety of fantasies;
-Children need to know that their birth families care about them and that the adoption didn't represent rejection;
-Birth families need not represent a threat to their children or to the attachment between the children and their adoptive parents;
-Birth parents need to know the outcome of their pregnancy and adoption plan to feel peace about it;
-Adoptive parents feel more authentic when they receive permission from the birth parents to be their child's parents and see that the birth parents' involvement with their family does not diminish their parent-child relationship.
-Family relationships are healthier in an atmosphere of openness honesty."
So, this is a little bit about open adoption and why it is now the preffered practice for Domestic Infant Adoption.
We would also like to thank you for your prayers and your support through our adoption journey and we hope you each have a very Merry Christmas!!
Listyn and Andy
